is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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