im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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