you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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