I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
