hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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