omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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