It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
