I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
