Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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