clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
