put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
