Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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