what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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