I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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