He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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