Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
