Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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