Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
