Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
