All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
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Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
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The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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