ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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