I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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