White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
