I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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