I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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