just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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