I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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