YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You're a waste of cheezeits
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
