Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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