sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
my liver is dry heaving
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
