i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
