Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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