I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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