I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
