I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
