I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize