butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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