This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
