I think I died a long time ago.
I wish I only lived at night.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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