This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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