Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
