I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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