when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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