Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I love black thongs
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
