i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
