omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize