omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
