I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
