I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm at about main and main street
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize