whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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