? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
