it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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