every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
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say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
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I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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