She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
