She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
