so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
