ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize