please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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