then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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