just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
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Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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