What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I woke up under a house in Key West
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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