Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
