I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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