toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
we should paint friendship bongs
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