What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
