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• (512): View more from Texas

  Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (626): View more from California

  Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (813): View more from Florida

  A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale

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