i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
sex in a hospital.. check
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"