I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.