Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?

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  (972): What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard? http://tfl.nu/a8hs
  Replies (1) Good night (928) Bad night (1222)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.

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  (321): We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story. http://tfl.nu/mc4k
  Replies (29) Good night (1226) Bad night (3639)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously

  (503): View more from Oregon

  you are my hero

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  (971): Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously (503): you are my hero http://tfl.nu/me35
  Replies (20) Good night (5022) Bad night (1146)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.

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  (317): The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints. http://tfl.nu/xoq4
  Replies (6) Good night (1042) Bad night (4848)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.

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  (785): He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me. http://tfl.nu/3her
  Replies (11) Good night (745) Bad night (2372)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?

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  (510): Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night? http://tfl.nu/abjo
  Replies (6) Good night (3509) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.

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  (502): She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't. http://tfl.nu/5w3y
  Replies (8) Good night (975) Bad night (2579)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.

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  (+44): Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room. http://tfl.nu/d3jd
  Replies (5) Good night (1477) Bad night (665)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.

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  (416): We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time. http://tfl.nu/y0p3
  Replies (2) Good night (1328) Bad night (594)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?

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  (262): Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer? http://tfl.nu/h12n
  Replies (20) Good night (690) Bad night (860)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.

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  (+27): My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like. http://tfl.nu/slfh
  Replies (3) Good night (466) Bad night (1233)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.

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  (443): Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her. http://tfl.nu/t8u7
  Replies (0) Good night (609) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.

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  (917): The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad. http://tfl.nu/oau9
  Replies (8) Good night (473) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.

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  (+44): I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff. http://tfl.nu/4dhc
  Replies (3) Good night (579) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.

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  (904): Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not. http://tfl.nu/ujhu
  Replies (0) Good night (683) Bad night (226)

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