We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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