you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
