There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
