sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
