please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
