If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize