thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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