The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
how does that bad decision feel?
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